Teimo

Teimo
Location	Peräjärvi

Teimo is the man who owns Teimo's Shop and Pub Nappo in Peräjärvi. Teimo is a bald man with glasses, he wears his uniform when working in the store and Pub Nappo.

Barely anything is known of Teimo's past, but according to his stories he has had a dog, he has a wife called Irma, he was a fisherman and he used to be a wrestler of some kind in his youth.

Teimo is approximately in his mid 50's. He speaks with a dialect from Savonia and is very calm and easy going, but if you flip your middle finger or smash his shop window, you will piss him off.

Once you enter the store from the main door, he will usually greet you by saying "Katos päevää! No mitteepä laitetaan?" Translated to "Well hello! What would you like to have?" or "Hyvvee päivää ja tervetulloo Teimon kauppaan" ("Hello and welcome to Teimo's Shop"). After some time, Teimo will often tell some kind of hilarious story. One example is when he says how modern music (back in -95) is really bad and that they won't play anything good on the radio anymore. He also says that he likes the Marjatta song also seen on the TV in the player's home.

Teimo will call the player when products ordered via the magazine are delivered to the store. He also calls you if you haven't paid for the fuel, and claims you'll end up in prison. Sometimes he even says he'll have to talk with the player's father when he returns.

Shop quotes:

• "I am about to close the store, so shake that booty a little faster."
• "Marjattaaaaaaa........ You brought light to my life..."
• "This economic regression. It can get quite bad. I might need to discount sausage prices."
• "They say that fuel price is high. I say, they haven't seen anything yet. It will be so expensive somewhen. Even more expensive than milk."
• "Did you know I used to be a wrestler? Not a professional one though."
• "Tourists don't buy milk. They buy beer and milk goes sour. That's how it goes I guess."
• "Did you know I used to be quite a fisherman. That's again one thing I used to be."
• "My customers say they don't have money to buy food. But they have always money to buy some beer. That is really strange."
• "You know the green car that drives the backroads and never stops for gas? I think the car is alcohol-powered." (Talking about the green car)
• "Good day! What would you like to have?"
• "Well good day, what brings you to the city?"
• "Thank you very much and have a nice day!"
• "Hey to the dishes and to the dishwasher!"
• "Thank you for your co-operation!"
• "So are you participating in the rally? I was once second when there was two competitors. Sometimes you come out alive."
• "Well well... Good day for you too, glumpsy."
• "I am done with drinking. You know how my eyes are not focusing straight after I have drank some."
• "508, 509... Oh, hello! What would you like to have?"
• "Did you know that a small sticker representing country of Finland costs many hundreds of marks? That is insane."
• "Welcome to Teim... Oh, it's you."
• "My washing machine broke, and I have only one pair of clean underwear, well... not anymore, shit happens."
• "Those punks, why do they keep calling me in the middle of the night? i have since unplugged my phone for the night."

Pub quotes:

• "Welcome to the main pub of Alivieska! The place that you always wanted to be!"
• "Today we have a special offer! If you buy one beer, you can buy second beer as well!"
• "How much can you absorb alcohol?"
• "Should you stop the drinking now that you are still standing?"
• "I assume this is your last drink, right?"
• "What would you like? Golden brown Nivalan Kalia together with horrible day after ramifications?"
• "Sooo.. It seems that you are starting to drink for the third leg as well."
• "There seems to be no point with your drinking..."

Phone quotes:

• "Your post order has arrived. You can pick it up from the store!"
• "I know you've stolen fuel. Come back and pay!"

Middle finger reaction:

• "Very beautiful finger you got there. Really, I am not kidding." (Actually he is saying "Very beautiful finger you got there. Do you want me to show cleaver to it?")
• "Fuck off, you little punk!"
• "If you have a problem with this, you can go to another store, but oh, you can't... EHE EHE EHE!"
• "Yeah yeah, and now add some butter in between."
• "Throw yourself up on to the hill, you little punk."
• "Smell a pussy!"

Broken window reaction:

• "You punk are gonna pay for that!"

Not enough money reaction:

• "You're too poor for these purchases."

Pissing on the floor of the shop:

• "You punk are pissing all over the place, get out of here now!"
• "Oh my god, adult man pissing all over the place. As you know, my store is not a toilet."
• "What...? You damn punk, now get the hell out of here. Peeing all over the place!"

Pissing on Teimo:

• "Wha.. I... Th... Piss...Yo... Damn punk peeing... Oh my god what is this, you get out now!"

Entering Teimo's store drunk:

• "I wonder whether i should enlarge the corridors here because the wide dance moves of yours."
• "Is this your birthday or what sort of festival are you having?"
• "Hey you little drunk punk, do not lean on to the shelf and mess up my store. I hate drunk cretins."
• "And drunk again? Please do not puke inside the frozen fish fridge, like that one occasion."
• "Oh boy... Even the most famous cuckoo would say that, you sir, are drunk."